Perspective in retrospect

recollections

2007-03-31T17:37:00.000+08:00

everything is dawning upon me as time passes.
it was just right in front of me.
time to start
what do u think?

Led On

2006-11-13T18:52:00.000+08:00

I thought i was killed.
But the smell just brought everything back.
WTF! In just a snap of the fingers.

The day when you reprimanded me for something that it's not really my fault,
It felt as though there was a stab in my chest.
No...it hasn't cross the line.
It just made me realise how dependent i was, on you.
Since day one, i was always with you,
almost 24/7
Knew my limits.
Should have seen it coming.

Deja Vu

2006-10-25T01:00:00.000+08:00

I'm falling... once again.
Can't help it.

At the end of the day, there were lots of cuts and bruises. After repeated falls, and countless recovery, i'm still falling.
It's been a long time since i last had this feeling. Disgusted, fear of falling.. etc etc.
It was brown in the morning, green in the afternoon.
Although it was real fun, i really doubt i will go back to it again.

No Links

2006-10-13T04:06:00.000+08:00

5 more to practise
How to make it S&M in a tasteful way?
6 weeks
so dead
7 more to come up with
How do i run it?
You are beautiful
He is irreplaceable
Who can i turn to?
80%
Flunked one
Hope it doesn't break down again
So broke
Lagged by 6
Hope it will pass the judges
Hope to get 60 people
Ending in 2 months time
To stay or not to stay?
Turning point.
Didn't do it well from the start
Slipped my hands
Damn xiong
How can you guys do it three times at one go?
No stamina
Robotic
One call away
Not good enough?
So many lines, which one to go into?
2 more months
how will it be like?
will it be fun?
Lost touch with it for so many years
Anyone can help?
Like that also can get a scratch.
Running low.
How long more?

Relative

2006-09-14T01:51:00.000+08:00

From my point of view, you're the best.
The travelling burns me out.
The commitment makes up a large part of me.
Even though you are cruel to me.
You are my priority number 1.
i entered your world on the wrong note.
2 weeks of desperation.
1 week of recovery.
Now still recuperating.
Slowly picking up.
You let me see the light at the end of the tunnel.
You showed me the way.
Enjoyment is wad i have now.
Regret is also wad i have now.
For not seeing wad u really represent.
Even though the competition is high.
Perserverance is what you will see from me.
For you now represent my life.
My future.
My happiness.
I will not disappoint you.
I will show that it is worth accepting me.
I will make you proud.

Forever Love

2006-09-07T01:59:00.000+08:00

愛你不是因為你的美而已
我越來越愛你每個眼神觸動我的心
因為你讓我看見 Forever 才瞭解自己
未來這些日子要好好珍惜

愛我有些痛苦有些不公平
如果真的愛我不是理所當然的決定
感到你的呼吸在我耳邊像微風神奇
溫柔的安撫我的不安定

所以我~要每天研究你的笑容 Ooh 多麼自然

Forever love Forever love
我只想用我這一輩子去愛你
從今以後你會是所有幸福的理由

愛情是場最美最遠的旅行
沿途雨季泥濘偶爾阻礙我們的前進
感到你的體溫在我懷裡像陽光和煦
巧妙的融化我的不安定

不可思議証明我愛的理由 Ooh 多麼自然

Forever love Forever love
我只想用我這一輩子去愛你
從今以後你會是所有幸福的理由

你感動的眼睛我沉默的聲音彷彿就是最好的証明
就讓我在說一次 I Love you oh (直到永遠)

Forever love Forever love
我只想用我這一輩子去愛你
從今以後你會是所有幸福的理由

Forever love Forever love Forever love

And i choose

2006-09-03T02:17:00.000+08:00

Watched the musical 'And i Choose'.

Story is about three girls, having to make a decision that will have a great impact on their lives.

Into the show, i was quite bored during the first quarter or so. Partly due to the music. However, as the show goes on, i was more and more captivated by it. The characters itself, actually sort of resembles some of my friends.

There is Liz, the whizz kid who chose law over science, her expertise. There is carrie (if i remembered the name correctly), the emotional girl who chose love over bread. And lastly, Sam, the career minded woman, who chose power and fame over everything else.

The ending of the musical sort of depicts the outcome of their choices.

The character that captures my attention the most is Sam, the career minded woman.

In the musical, she is a power and fame crazy woman(at least that's wad i thought) who wanted to prove that woman can make the mark too. And in the process, she lost out on the good things in life. The most important things in life. And that is relationships. Be it friendships, love life or family, she scored zero in all. Her dad tried to persuade her, to prevent her from becoming who she is. But all that got into her head was, her dad thinks she is not good enough. And that is exactly opposite to wad her dad meant and intended. And because of the misinterpretation, she spent many years of her life, struggling to get to the top of the coporate ladder, to be most famous lawyer. She only begin to understand her dad's intentions years back when she is fighting a fellow colleague to be the partner of the law firm. That when she realised that she is alone.

'So what if i am very famous? So what if the whole world knows about me?'
(quote from sam)

We are always making choices in our lives. We are also always making mistakes in our choices. Be it compulsive buying, wrong match of clothes, etc etc.... These are all the minor choices we always make in our lives. However, if we are to make a major decision that will impact our life and also the lives of those aroud you, it's best to think and rethink before you decide to do something. In Sam's case, she chose power and fame over everything in her life. In the process, she lost her friends and also her loved ones as no one could stand her cold blooded manner of doing things and her stuck up attitude.

Life is short. A fulfilling doesn't only constitute material and fame. Bringing joy and laughter to the people around you, having good relations with people and making a difference in someone's life make up a larger part. In Sam's case, the time and attention she spent fighting for fame could have been distributed for her loved ones. The real successful people are those who are able to juggle both their love life and work well. And at the same time not neglecting either.

realities

2006-08-26T03:58:00.000+08:00

Repeated calls and ugly facts were placed in front. The fantasy world, however, is still hard to resist. It lets one get his ideal outcome, lets one fulfil her desires, lets one live her perfect life and also lets one get things beyond her grasp. Everyone has their way of ideal life, therefore, everyone will fantasize every now and den. This world, may however be detrimental.

People who crave for this world are often oblivious to the things around them. The good things are normally what they miss. And very often, they may resort to means and ways to get what they want. And in the process of doing so, they may lose something of more value.

Someone once told me, what u chase, will run. Best way is to attract. Judging from previous experiences, attraction is something that i am bad at. I am used to working for things that i want. No matter how shortchanged i was, as long as i feel that it's worth it and as long as it makes me contented.

Have wasted much time, money and effort on chasing something that i could never get.
Have always harboured hope.
Have always thought what if.
Have always tried.
Have always worried.
Totally drained me out.

Something's changing. And i can feel it.

Truth vs Validity

2006-08-23T03:05:00.000+08:00

Truth and validity. Many reasons that we give in our daily lives are often deprived of one or the other. It may be the truth but not valid. It can also be valid but it's not the truth. Together, truth and validity make a sound argument. Today's lesson made me realise that i trust people too easily. I realised i cant, at times, tell whether my friend was just joking with me or they are telling the truth.

New found love today. Tried it for the first time and was sort of hooked to it. Adrenaline rush, just wanted to bring her down.

Bits and pieces

2006-08-22T02:44:00.000+08:00

First lesson after 3 weeks. And just by attending the lesson made me realise how much i missed attending lessons. Although the place is not as lively and as happening anymore, Many things remain unchanged. The settings, the mood it gives me and also the regulars.

Lesson itself was very interesting. The way it was conducted, the fun that we have, as always, and also the challenge that it poses.

Advices from different ppl echo the same thing. Bottomline is to follow ur heart and mind. No one knows wad u need except youself. To be influenced by people around you may not show weakness, but inability to filter influences show a weak character and willpower.

This was suddenly dawned upon me when chatting to friends.

To feel love for each other during the short time during the dance is encouraged. There is however a thin line between the few minutes of love and taking it for real. Professionalism.

Running short

2006-07-24T10:48:00.000+08:00

Last week of freedom before start of school life. Was looking forward to start of school for the past few months but strange thing is.... now that it is nearing, enthusiasm for it is almost zero. Just the thought of lectures alone is already putting me to sleep. And also the many activities that staying in hall entails, makes it worse. Not that i dun like activities organised by them, but am feeling very drained right now. Feels as though only weeks of good sleep will re-energise me again.

Speaking of which, this last week of freedom will be spent mostly alone as she is gone on a week's camp. Time is really not our side. Have really enjoyed myself with her doing rehersals and performances in the past few months though have always wanted to spend more time with her doing things other than dance. Lethargy has gotten the both of us. Dunno how it would be like when the term starts. Maybe the long break that she's suggested is best for both of us.

Many things are left undone and time is running out. If only there are 48 hours a day.